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Kolanda Douglas

Confessions of a Church Girl

“Sharing my scars in hopes that you’ll avoid scars of your own.”
— Kolanda
You can have it all!
You can have it all!

There are some days I’m a better wife than mom, or vice versa. Other days, ministry zaps so much out of me that I need time to recharge to be wife and mom later.

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Balance, Change, Encouragement, Goals, Growth, Marriage, Motherhood, Ministry, Mindfulness, Spiritual Health, Trusting God, Wisdom, GraceKolanda DouglasMay 29, 2025 Comments
Which side of the cross are you on?
Which side of the cross are you on?

…the ministry of reconciliation doesn’t wait until we’ve got it all figured out. It meets us mid-conversation, in our questions, in our seeking.

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Change, Encouragement, Growth, Ministry, Miracles, Purpose, Self-Care, Spiritual Health, Trusting GodKolanda DouglasApril 24, 2025Comment
Jezebel’s Prey
Jezebel’s Prey

And though I have no reason to feel icky as the person who suffered the “violent” behavior, the biggest sentiment I feel after admitting that is: shame.

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Growth, Mental Health, Wisdom, Anxiety, Obedience, Mindfulness, Fear, Spiritual Health, Encouragement, MaturityKolanda DouglasMarch 27, 2025Comment
Happy New Year?
Happy New Year?

Instead of focusing on the terrible things happening in the world, I’m choosing to focus on how the terrible things demonstrate God’s sovereignty and power.

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Gratitude, Mental Health, Peace, Anxiety, Mindfulness, Trusting God, Encouragement, Suffering, Spiritual HealthKolanda DouglasFebruary 27, 2025Comment
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving!

As our family began to share one-by-one, it was hard to choose something to share. And not because I don’t have much to be thankful for, but because I couldn't narrow it down to just one thing.

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Mindfulness, SpirtualityKolanda DouglasNovember 28, 2024 Comments
Promotion
Promotion

On this week’s episode of “I Didn’t Come Here for This,” I’m seriously considering firing my nail tech.

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Change, Encouragement, Growth, Maturity, Mindfulness, Motherhood, Trusting GodKolanda DouglasOctober 31, 2024 Comments
Your Way is Better
Your Way is Better

“What kind of woman has a women’s ministry without a daughter?” I often asked God.

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Change, Growth, Maturity, Mindfulness, Motherhood, Peace, Trusting GodKolanda DouglasSeptember 26, 2024 Comments
Support vs. Surveillance
Support vs. Surveillance

Although the face and voice of the person was familiar, the spirit behind their behavior was not. So, this time, I noticed the deflection. I noticed the lack of accountability. I noticed the ignorance. I noticed the indifference. And I noticed the absence of an apology.

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Wisdom, Growth, Maturity, Encouragement, MindfulnessKolanda DouglasAugust 29, 2024 Comments
We had church!
We had church!

I’ve been so shy about fully expressing what we experienced at The Well this month for fear of who it might offend, who might be triggered, who might envious, who might be jealous, or who might feel compelled to compete.

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Goals, Growth, Maturity, Ministry, Obedience, Trusting GodKolanda DouglasJuly 25, 2024Comment
Striving vs. Stewarding
Striving vs. Stewarding

There’s a difference between doing things for God, and doing things with God.

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Encouragement, Growth, Mindfulness, Ministry, Obedience, Purpose, Trusting GodKolanda DouglasJune 27, 2024Comment
Spiritual Regression
Spiritual Regression

This self-induced defense mechanism of spiritual regression wreaks so much havoc on your life as you attempt to protect yourself from anxious thoughts or feelings, and try to assure yourself that you’re psychologically safe.

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Ministry, Mental Health, Wisdom, Anxiety, Self-Care, Mindfulness, Encouragement, Spiritual HealthKolanda DouglasMay 30, 2024Comment
Spiritual Fragility
Spiritual Fragility

I was fully tuned into the sermon until the Pastor said: “Some of us are too fragile for God’s glory…We think being “chosen” or “called” is equivalent to receiving special privileges.”

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Change, Money, Maturity, Growth, Fear, Encouragement, Wisdom, Trusting God, Spiritual Health, Peace, ObedienceKolanda DouglasApril 25, 2024Comment
I got the keys!
I got the keys!

I’ve been beating myself up over the last few weeks because I’m currently repeating a spiritual test that I’ve taken before.

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Encouragement, Growth, Maturity, Ministry, Obedience, Purpose, Trusting GodKolanda DouglasMarch 28, 2024Comment
Something’s Happening
Something’s Happening

For example, whenever there is a transition and/or shift happening in my life, it’s usually accompanied by other transitions and/or shifts.

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Change, Encouragement, Mindfulness, Obedience, Peace, Spiritual Health, Suffering, Trusting God, WarKolanda DouglasFebruary 29, 2024Comment
It takes what it takes!
It takes what it takes!

It felt like I’d won the war, but lost the battle. The only way I can describe how I felt is like the ending of the movie 300. Although the Spartans won, nothing was ever the same because they all died on the battlefield.

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Encouragement, Growth, Maturity, Mindfulness, Ministry, Purpose, Spiritual Health, Spirtuality, Suffering, Trusting God, WisdomKolanda DouglasJanuary 25, 2024Comment
Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself
Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

This year, several experiences triggered memories and feelings held by the little girl in me that I thought the adult me had suppressed years ago.

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Growth, Ministry, Trusting God, Mindfulness, Spiritual Health, MaturityKolanda DouglasDecember 28, 2023 Comment
Perverted Instructions
Perverted Instructions

This month, I had to take the same test a few times. And one day, within a matter of hours, I had to take the same test twice.

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Growth, Maturity, Ministry, Obedience, Trusting GodKolanda DouglasNovember 30, 2023 Comment
Level Up
Level Up

That day, the evolution of my ministry stopped being plans inside the Notepad app on my phone and became a reality.

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Ministry, Growth, Obedience, Encouragement, Spiritual Health, MaturityKolanda DouglasOctober 26, 2023 Comment
A Place to Die
A Place to Die

A piece of me died this month. And it's kind of ironic considering that September marked another year of life, health and strength for me.

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Change, Mindfulness, Obedience, Purpose, Spiritual Health, Maturity, GrowthKolanda DouglasSeptember 28, 2023 Comment
Holy Abandonment
Holy Abandonment

In April, I began to feel a shift in my ministry. I noticed that I had begun to attract a different segment of women than I would normally attract.

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Ministry, Peace, Obedience, Change, Purpose, Trusting God, EncouragementKolanda DouglasAugust 31, 2023 Comment
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