You can have it all!
In a world that often tells us we must choose between our callings, I believe—with my whole heart—that we can live fully in every role God has given us. For me, that means walking in the beauty and challenge of being a wife, a mother, and a minister. It’s not easy. It requires grace, wisdom, and intentionality. But it’s possible.
And if you’re struggling with walking in the beauty and challenge of fulfilling your roles, I’m going to share my heart and strategy with you because it’s never too late to reset and realign. So, here’s how I’m learning to “have it all”—not in the way the world defines success, but in the way God equips us to walk in purpose, peace, and joy across every area of life.
1. Asking God for Wisdom and Grace—Daily
This is the foundation of everything. I can’t fulfill any of my roles in my own strength. (I don’t always get that much sleep nowadays with Sonshine #3 so I certainly don’t always have the patience, energy, etc.) I have to seek God’s wisdom (James 1:5) and lean into His grace (2 Corinthians 12:9) daily. There are days when schedules conflict, energy runs low, and emotions run high. But I’ve learned to pause and pray, “Lord, You’ve graced me for this. I need Your wisdom.” Wisdom gives me clarity. Grace gives me peace. Together, they help me thrive—not just survive.
2. Being Intentional in My Marriage
Marriage doesn’t grow on autopilot. Being intentional in my marriage to Superman is just as important as managing any other area of life. We schedule time to connect—whether it’s a weekly lunch date, catching up on a TV series after dinner, or taking a much needed getaway. In fact, during our most recent baecation to celebrate 15 years of marriage, we had a heartfelt check-in. Inspired by a post on TikTok, we asked each other:
When do you feel most seen and loved by me?
Is there a little part of us you miss—something we used to do?
How can I be emotionally present for you, even on the hard days?
Is there something on your heart I haven’t asked you about, but probably should have?
What’s a small dream we once talked about that still lives in you?
It’s the little things, done consistently, that build a strong marriage foundation in the midst of a full life.
3. Prioritizing My Sonshines with Quality Time and Meaningful Moments
As a mother, my goal is to be present—not perfect. I make it a priority to spend quality time with each of my children. Some days this looks like playing a game with Sonshine #1, snuggling and catching up with Sonshine #2, or playing on the floor during tummy time with Sonshine #3. Other days it looks like having a special outing with all three, or celebrating special occasions—not just birthdays or holidays, but milestones and “just because” moments. No matter how I spend time with them, I try to create meaningful moments that let them know they are seen, loved, and valued. And not just as my most prized possessions, but also as individuals. I want the testimony of their childhood experience to be inside a home full of love, memory, and security.
4. Keeping Ministry in Alignment with My First Callings
Ministry is a beautiful, sacred calling, but I know that my first ministry is my home. When I keep that truth in order, everything flows more freely. I have boundaries to protect family time, I have processes that protect family resources, and I ask God before I say yes to every opportunity. When I operate from a place of peace and order in my home, I don’t have to convince or beg Superman or my Sonshines for their support. They willingly assist and sacrifice because they know they get the best of me—not the rest of me after I’ve served everyone else. And as a result, my ministry outside the home is equally fruitful.
5. Planning Ahead and Staying Flexible
Planning helps me stay organized, but flexibility keeps me sane. I don’t like rigidity, but I need order for management and maintenance. I use calendars, set reminders, and even plan special family moments ahead of time—but I also leave space for the unexpected. I’m a witness that sometimes God interrupts our plans with something even better! So, I embrace structure and spontaneity.
Please don’t misunderstand me. Having it all doesn’t mean doing it all. It means surrendering it all to God—your schedule, your expectations, your energy—and trusting Him to fill in the gaps. It means showing up with love, leaning into grace, and staying rooted in wisdom.
And no, I don’t get it right every day. There are some days I’m a better wife than mom, or a better mom than wife. Other days, ministry zaps so much out of me I need time to recharge (this why I have The Well) to be wife and mom. I’m walking this journey with an open heart and a firm belief that God equips those He calls. Whatever role(s) He has called us to fulfill, He will give us what we need to walk each one with joy.
So, here’s to living fully, loving deeply, and leading faithfully—by God’s grace, one intentional day at a time.