Open Wounds
On Thursday, April 20, 2023 I experienced a different, yet familiar, level of anger.
Of course I’ve been passionately angry, while trying my best not to sin, many times. However, the anger I experienced on April 20th was coupled with tears that silently expressed what I couldn’t say or do while in the presence of my oldest Sonshine and while present in a professional setting.
You see, April 20th was the day a Doctor decided to discontinue care for my Sonshine because he wasn’t “mature enough”. And when I inquired about the signs of maturity that would demonstrate my Sonshine’s readiness, the Doctor continued to explain that my Sonshine was immature and began citing his communication and behavior as evidence.
In hindsight, I now understand that some mothers wouldn’t find this situation to be upsetting or problematic. In fact, some mothers might have agreed with the Doctor. But in that moment, I didn’t experience the situation as a mother only. I also experienced the situation as my 5th grade self, a victim of teasing.
Interestingly, this situation triggered what I endured in elementary and middle school: being teased about a physical attribute (my teeth) that I didn’t have the power to change. And I saw my Sonshine in the light as the Doctor explained her decision: being teased about cognitive (speech delay) and physical (sensory-seeking behavior) attributes he didn’t have the power to change.
As I discussed the situation with family and friends over the next few days, I discovered an open wound that I’ve unknowingly been carrying since 5th grade. Although I’d received medical intervention (braces) to address the wound, I’ve never done anything to care for the wound until it healed. I just assumed that the wound had closed/healed over time. But the teasing caused a break in my skin that has left internal tissue exposed since I was in 5th grade, and that vulnerable internal tissue was revealed on Thursday, April 20, 2023.
And because God is so intentional about revealing hidden/forgotten wounds that may later cause infection, inflammation, illness, etc., He gave me the formula for healing through today’s message at church. Here it is:
Apply pressure (Luke 8:45-47)
Endure the pain (Romans 5:3-5)
Cleanse the wound (James 5:16)
Suture the wound (Psalm 147:3)
Embrace the scar (Galatians 6:17)
Wounds are inevitable, and healing is a right. But taking a closer look at your open wounds so they can become closed wounds that produce wisdom? That’s a choice.