Stinking Thinking
I have ANTs.
Specifically, I have automatic negative thoughts. And that’s just a fancy way of saying that my default thinking pattern is negativity.
It wasn’t until I started going to therapy last year that my negative thinking pattern was discovered. After a lifetime of thinking this way, no one had ever pointed out any concerns about my thought process. So, when my therapist first mentioned her observation, I didn’t accept it. If anything, I thought ANTs may have described how I thought before Christ, but not since I ditched religion and began focusing on my relationship with Christ. So, to help me identify this thinking pattern at work, my therapist asked me to take note of the times I have to make decisions and record my first reaction. Although I asked the Spirit to help me be sensitive to those moments so I could prove my therapist wrong, I actually discovered she was right! After looking at my records over a few days, it was clear that my first reaction to having to make a decision or to the outcome of a decision was negativity.
For example, if something I planned didn’t happen as planned, the first thing I told myself was that “I must’ve done something wrong.” If something didn’t turn out the way I imagined, according to what I believed God showed me, I told myself “I must’ve missed a step.” If I obeyed God and the result of my obedience wasn’t welcomed by others, overflowing in success, plentiful in opportunity, abounding in favor, etc., I told myself “I must’ve misunderstood God’s instructions.”
There was never any consideration for God’s grace, God’s timing, God’s will, or God’s sovereignty.
Thankfully, this month I realized that no one had ever pointed out concerns about my thinking pattern because I’m such an encourager, outwardly. It was difficult to call out my negativity when all the words out of my mouth was positivity. But how many of you know that you can make your mouth say anything? So, no one ever noticed my thinking pattern because my negative thinking happened inwardly via self-talk. But now that I know better, I plan to do better. Therefore, to overcome these ANTs and to allow God to “…transform [me] into a new person by changing the way [I] think [so I] will learn to know God’s will for [me], which is good and pleasing and perfect.…” (Romans 12:2 NLT), I’ve committed to put the following into daily practice:
Ask myself questions. “Kolanda, is this thought true? Does having this thought serve you? Is there another explanation or another way of looking at things?”
Record and evaluate ANTs. This will help me identify patterns, including the situations and/or people that trigger them.
Turn ANTs into PETs. Acknowledge automatic negative thoughts and intentionally replace them with a positive empowering thought from the Bible. After all, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” (II Timothy 3:16-17 NLT)
Now that I’m more conscious about the power of my mind, I’m programming it for success.